How to Identify Someone From The 26th State
- They give you driving directions and one of the turns says: “take a Michigan left”.
- They describe the four seasons as: “Almost Winter; Winter; Hotter than Hell; and Winter again”.
- There is a red wing on a wheel somewhere on their vehicle.
- They measure distance in minutes instead of miles.
- They tell you they prefer diving in the winter because the potholes are filled.
- They can tell the difference between Farmer Peet’s and Kogels pickled bologna and have strong opinions about which one goes best with Pinconning cheese.
- They know what Pinconning cheese is and show you where it comes from on their hand.
- They knew how to spell Steve Yzerman’s last name in the first grade.
- They think Alkaline batteries were named after a Detroit Tiger Right Fielder.
- They know that Kalamazoo is a real city and can show you where it is on their hand.
- They know what a Yooper is and can tell the difference between a Yooper and a Canadian by the way they talk.
- Their idea of a good time is sitting on a 5 gallon plastic bucket on the ice in below zero weather with a fishing pole.
- If they have ever seen a flying octopus in April.
- They tell you “Sault” rhymes with “Boo”.
- They know that May is Morel month.
- They expect to see frog legs on the buffet at the local restaurant.
- They have a boat, snowmobile, cabin “up north” and an outhouse.
- Half of their relatives worked for the auto industry and got laid off or bought out.
- The other half of their relatives work in a casino.
- They think a coast to coast trip is driving between Port Huron and Muskegon.
- They think a Big Mac is something you drive across.
- They have ever switched from heat to AC and heat again in the same day.
- They honk when they see a picket line.
- They actually know where Hell is and can show you where on their hand.
- They offered to work Christmas in exchange for November 15 off.
- They don’t consider Molson or Labatts imported beer.
- They tell you to drink Vernors for an upset stomach.
- You ask them to break a dollar bill and half the change is Canadian.
- They drive 86 mph on the highway and pass on the right.
- The annual summer vacation is a trip to Cedar Point.
- They can drive 65 mph through a blizzard and complain about other drivers going too slow.
- A polka song comes on and they start tapping their foot and singing the chorus.
- They missed their cousins wedding because the smelt were running.
- They missed their sisters wedding because the steelhead were hitting.
- They were late for their own wedding because the walleye were biting.
- They know what “The Lodge” is and can tell you two ways to avoid it.
- They have security lights on their house and garage but leave them both unlocked.
- They know what a “party store” is and can name 3 “coney islands”.
- They know how to say, play, and pronounce “Euchre”.
- They know how to pronounce “Mackinac”.
- They have a copy of “Escanaba in da Moonlight” in their dvd collection along with other “documentaries”.
- They can identify someone from Ohio from their accent.
- They have at least 2 recipes for venison “backstraps”
- The mere mention of “backstraps” make them go “Oooooo yeah”.
- They have a story about someone having a heart attack from shoveling snow.
- They own an article of clothing in the color “blaze orange”, and have worn it to a social function.
- They can give you directions to at least 3 cider mills.
- They eat “pasties” and drink “pop”.
- If they have ever worn a jacket and shorts at the same time.
- They go to a Fishfry on Friday.
-Chef Jeff,
Home on the Range in O'Tooles Kitchen