Wednesday, January 18, 2012

50 ways to tell you’re talking to a Michigander.

How to Identify Someone From The 26th State

  1. They give you driving directions and one of the turns says: “take a Michigan left”.
  2. They describe the four seasons as: “Almost Winter; Winter; Hotter than Hell; and Winter again”.
  3. There is a red wing on a wheel somewhere on their vehicle.
  4. They measure distance in minutes instead of miles.
  5. They tell you they prefer diving in the winter because the potholes are filled.
  6. They can tell the difference between Farmer Peet’s and Kogels pickled bologna and have strong opinions about which one goes best with Pinconning cheese.
  7. They know what Pinconning cheese is and show you where it comes from on their hand.
  8. They knew how to spell Steve Yzerman’s last name in the first grade.
  9. They think Alkaline batteries were named after a Detroit Tiger Right Fielder.
  10. They know that Kalamazoo is a real city and can show you where it is on their hand.
  11. They know what a Yooper is and can tell the difference between a Yooper and a Canadian by the way they talk.
  12. Their idea of a good time is sitting on a 5 gallon plastic bucket on the ice in below zero weather with a fishing pole.
  13. If they have ever seen a flying octopus in April.
  14. They tell you “Sault” rhymes with “Boo”.
  15. They know that May is Morel month.
  16. They expect to see frog legs on the buffet at the local restaurant.
  17. They have a boat, snowmobile, cabin “up north” and an outhouse.
  18. Half of their relatives worked for the auto industry and got laid off or bought out.
  19. The other half of their relatives work in a casino.
  20. They think a coast to coast trip is driving between Port Huron and Muskegon.
  21. They think a Big Mac is something you drive across.
  22. They have ever switched from heat to AC and heat again in the same day.
  23. They honk when they see a picket line.
  24. They actually know where Hell is and can show you where on their hand.
  25. They offered to work Christmas in exchange for November 15 off.
  26. They don’t consider Molson or Labatts imported beer.
  27. They tell you to drink Vernors for an upset stomach.
  28. You ask them to break a dollar bill and half the change is Canadian.
  29. They drive 86 mph on the highway and pass on the right.
  30. The annual summer vacation is a trip to Cedar Point.
  31. They can drive 65 mph through a blizzard and complain about other drivers going too slow.
  32. A polka song comes on and they start tapping their foot and singing the chorus.
  33. They missed their cousins wedding because the smelt were running.
  34. They missed their sisters wedding because the steelhead were hitting.
  35. They were late for their own wedding because the walleye were biting.
  36. They know what “The Lodge” is and can tell you two ways to avoid it.
  37. They have security lights on their house and garage but leave them both unlocked.
  38. They know what a “party store” is and can name 3 “coney islands”.
  39. They know how to say, play, and pronounce “Euchre”.
  40. They know how to pronounce “Mackinac”.
  41. They have a copy of “Escanaba in da Moonlight” in their dvd collection along with other “documentaries”.
  42. They can identify someone from Ohio from their accent.
  43. They have at least 2 recipes for venison “backstraps”
  44. The mere mention of “backstraps” make them go “Oooooo yeah”.
  45. They have a story about someone having a heart attack from shoveling snow.
  46. They own an article of clothing in the color “blaze orange”, and have worn it to a social function.
  47. They can give you directions to at least 3 cider mills.
  48. They eat “pasties” and drink “pop”.
  49. If they have ever worn a jacket and shorts at the same time.
  50. They go to a Fishfry on Friday.

-Chef Jeff,
Home on the Range in O'Tooles Kitchen

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